So 12wks4days today. How very exciting. I can't believe I have made it this far. Had a sono yesterday and baby is doing great. Heart beat was 122. So all is well with baby.

But, and that is a freaking huge but. Sac is still behind. And what that means at this point is low amniotic fluid. And we all know babies can't survive without enough fluid. So they are keeping an eye on it. I have another sono in 3wks to check the level. So now I am praying to make it to at least 24wks. Anything after that is an extra blessing.

Ok, let me start this with saying how extremely thankful I am that I am pg and have made it past 12wks. How thankful I am that Turkey is doing great and growing as he/she should. But that being said I still feel so angry that nothing about this pg is going smoothly. That nothing about the whole ttc thing went smoothly. Is it really too much to ask for something, anything to be textbook?

I think I am just in a bad place right now. I kept telling myself I will be more happy and more conected to the pg once I hit 12wks. But now I feel like I am waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under me. I mean I always knew that something could happen at anytime, but now I have this fear that it will happen. That I will be having this baby earlier than I should. I know there is nothing I can do to stop what is going to happen. And I know that worrying about what might happen does nothing to keep it from happening. So I'm gonna try to be positive and enjoy what is going on right now, even though it is so hard.