Hope is fading

I have been seeing an Reproductive Endocrinologist for my infertility. We are doing 100 mg of clomid this cycle. I have been having to go in and get lots of sonograms to look at stuff and see what is going on. I felt really good about this cycle because I had one very mature egg and it should pop any day now. But I went and had a test done today and they said something was abnormal(im not gonna go into details in case youth are reading, but if you want to know what is going on exactly just ask) and that this cycle might not work. They said I may need to do an IUI next cycle and that just gets me depressed. I have gotten pg twice without that much medical help and I just want it to happen again. Josh and I have talked and if this cycle doesn't work we are gonna have to wait a few months to do anything more. It is just way too expensive and we can't afford it every month. Neither of our insurances pay for it, so we have to pay everything out of pocket. So thus why I am losing hope. I really really want this cycle to work. I want to have good news to tell people, but I just don't know. I have to keep reminding myself that it only takes one little swimmer.

I'll keep you updated, I have to go tomorrow for another sono to see if I ovulated. Which I hope I do and then the waiting begins. Oh how I hate the waiting...

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