A Day in The Life of a Moody Person

Dearest Kai Bear,

We have spent a whole year together already. It has been the best year of my whole life. You are everything I have ever wanted and more. I have enjoyed spending every day with you and watching your grow. I am so amazed at the little boy you have already turned into. You are so smart and funny. For so long I wanted to be a mother, but I never really understood what it meant. Being a mother is the best job I have ever had. I wake up everyday knowing I get to spend it with you. You make my life so happy. I am so thankful to God that he gave me you. You have such a wonderful personality. I look forward to all the years we get to spend together. I can't wait to see all the things you accomplish.

Thank you for being my son and giving me the opportunity to spend my life with you. I love you more than you will ever know.

Love,
Mommy

Just born 11/17/09 12:59 pm
One month old

Two months old

Three months old

Four months old

Five months old

Six months old

Seven months old

Eight months old

Nine months old

Ten months old

Eleven months old

Almost one year old!!!!

Unfortunately that is how old I am now. My birthday this year was kinda weird. I usually really look forward to my birthday but this year I barely remembered it. I think it is because Kai's birthday is so close to mine and I was (and still am) so focused on planning his birthday party(s).

We already had a party for him in Arlington and we are having one in Amarillo next weekend. The one in Arlington went well. We had lots of fun. We rented out this playarea. It was really nice that we were the only people there. The kids seemed to have a good time. I think Kai had fun too even though he wasn't walking yet. He loved the bounce house that had balls in it. He loves to throw everything!!!

The cake part was so funny. I am not going to tell you what he did. When I can get my computer working I will upload the photos and hopefully video so you can see it for yourself. He was just adorable.

Please continue to pray that we will sell our house. It is still a burden.

Kai has had his first infection...Tonsillitis. I would have never guessed. When he started running a fever I was sure it was the Flu since his Poppy was getting over it. But I was wrong. It will be so nice once he can talk and tell me what is wrong. In hindsight I am thinking his throat was hurting a while before his fever started. Poor baby. But he is doing much better now.

We are having his 1st birthday party in Arlington next weekend. I can't wait. I really hope everyone can make it. I think we are gonna have a lot of fun. And it is going to be great to see everyone again.

We still haven't sold our house. But we found out today that the house next door is for sale also. It will be interesting to see what they are asking and compare it to ours. We are thinking we need to paint the inside. It is colorful and apparently some people can't deal with color. I hate to pay to have it done, but if it sells the house then it will be worth it.

We really need to sell it so we can start paying off some debt we have acquired during our days of unemployment. And the sooner we do that the sooner we can buy our own house. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful to the In-laws for letting us stay here, and honestly it has gone pretty well. It is just so hard to live in someone elses house. To cook in their kitchen. It is harder than I thought it would be. I am ready to be settled.

We are also talking about baby #2 which can't happen until we pay off debt and have a house. Also, I might need some health insurance first too!!!! Amazing AF arrived a few weeks ago. It was nice in a way that she made an appearance. I am interested to see how my cycles are going to be post baby. We are hoping to start trying again in January.

Here are some pics of the cutie pie!!!!!

The day is here again. The national recognized day to remember our babies who left us too soon. There is an "International Wave of Light" tonight at 7 your time. If you have lost a baby light a candle for them. If you haven't but know someone who has light a candle for them. Too many babies are lost every year to miscarriage, stillbirth and infant death. We need to take the taboo out of the grieving and let women know that they are not alone.




To my 5 sweet angels. I miss you everyday. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you and all the dreams I had for you. You made me the mommy that I am to your little brother Kai. I treasure him so much more because of losing you. I love you all so much.

Mommy

We are here and we are trying to figure out what life here is like. It has been terribly hard to get into any kind of a routine. But we have been enjoying getting to see family so often. I know that Josh going back to work has been so much easier because I get to see my mom on an almost daily basis. So let me do a quick update of all things Moody.

Josh's job is going well. He doesn't hate it but doesn't love it. He has realized he is the most educated person there, even more so than the partners. But he is hoping at his 6 month review they will see what an assest he is and give him raise/promotion.

Living with the in-laws is going ok. We are still trying to get unpacked and figure out where to put all our crap that we feel we need right now. All the other junk is in two storage buildings. It is a little cramped, but hey it's free so we ain't complainin!!

Kai is doing wonderfully well. He is sleeping in his crib at night and at nap time. Sometimes it is fight to get him down, but we are working on a routine so hopefully that will help. He has started CRAWLING!! Before we moved he was army crawling which worked great for him because we had hard wood floors. But here we have carpet so it was a little harder. It didn't take him long to get up on those knees and now he is all over the place. He started waving also. He is so cute when he does it. He only likes to wave with his right hand which is weird because he does most everything else with both hands. He is eating like a horse. I swear the kid has no full meter!!!

This weekend he went on his first plane ride. We went to Denver for my brothers wedding reception. (they got married in march) He did great on the plane both times, although on the way back he was kinda fussy from being tired. We had a very nice time in Denver. It was nice to see Aubrey and Sarah, we only get to see them a few times a year. But now that we are closer josh and I hope to visit them some. The reception was very nice. Sarah did a great job putting it all together!! It was lots of fun getting to meet all of her family too.

We will be going back to Arlington on friday for Kai's pictures and also some pumpkin patch fun. I am not looking forward to going right after getting home from denver, but it will be fun to see friends again. Even though it is going to be a super short trip.

Well, I think that is all. My camera cord is currently MIA but when I find it I promise to post some knew Kai pics!!!

I used to use the word bittersweet to describe how I am feeling, but I have decided that it doesn't do the sadness enough justice. Five months ago, after josh had been unemployed for 4 months, we decided it was time move home. Home being Amarillo where Josh's parents and my mother live. Where my little brother and our nephew are. Where my grandparents and both of Josh's grandmothers live. Where Josh has an aunt and uncle and cousins and 2nd cousins. Where our FAMILY is.

I knew the day would eventually come when this move would happen. There were many times when we would leave Amarillo and drive back to Arlington and I would be in tears because I didn't want to leave our family again. I knew all that we were missing out on...the last 10 years of my little brothers life, the birth of our nephew, Josh's mom and my grandmother being diagnosed and treated for breast cancer, Josh's grandfathers dieing, just to name a few.

So when we made the BIG decision five months ago it wasn't a big deal. Sure I was sad that we were leaving. I was going to miss my friends terribly, but the payoff made it worth it.

Josh accepted a job in Amarillo two weeks ago and will be starting tuesday. We are not overly excited about the job, but hey it's a job. My mom came down almost two weeks ago to help us pack. She has been a life saver. I know it would not have gotten done if it wasn't for her. I realized today that packing was making it feel way too final for me, so I haven't been doing much. The u-haul truck is sitting in front of the house, and lots of burly men are coming soon to load it with all our belongings. The storage unit in Amarillo has been rented and our room at Josh's parents house is waiting for us. Everything has been taking care of.

But now I sit here only 24 hours left until we make the 6 hour drive to our new "home" and the reality of what we are leaving behind is hitting me square between the eyes. I haven't cried yet. I know it is going to happen, I'm a little teary eyed as I write this but I am able to hold it back...I'm not ready to let it flow just yet.

A decade of my life has been spent here. All of my adult and married life was in this town. This is where I found my footing, where I grew up, where I suffered and cried. There are so many memories here. Places I remember while driving, the surgery center where I had my first d&c. The Irving mall where I had my first post married job. The church where I made so many dear friends. The dr's office where I worked and learned so much. The apartment Josh and I lived in for the first 6 months of our marriage. The first house we bought that was only 900 square feet but was full of love and so much hope. This house that we are in now that I absolutely love, the only house my son has known as home. There are millions more, my head is swimming with memories.

And so I look around now and see all the boxes packed and ready to go and there is a glimmer of excitement inside me. As hard as it is I know that we made the right decision. Our son needs to know his family. I know that we will make so many new memories in Amarillo. I know that the pain of leaving will lessen with every passing day. But I will never forget this place where my "life" started and I will never forget the people who made the last 10 years so unforgettable.

Life continues to be crazy and chaotic. So much is in my brain right now and I will try to do my best to put it into some form that you can understand.

I have been thinking a lot lately how having an unemployed husband and being on the verge of financial ruin is much like having a miscarriage. It seems Josh and I are standing in one spot watching the world continue to spin around us. People are buying houses/cars, going on vacation, having babies, all while we just hope we have enough money to pay the bills AND buy the baby some food. It is a really odd reality that we are living in at the moment. It is hard to wrap my head around the fact the a highly educated man cannot find a job making more than 8.50 an hour.

There was a time just merely a week ago when I could see the light at the end of the tunnel. We had some one interested in our house (it was between ours and another) and Josh had a job interview with an architecture firm in Amarillo. Finally it was all going to work out, or so I thought. Apparently the people chose the other house since we have heard nothing from their realtor. As for the interview, well it went exceptionally well. They actually offered Josh the job, making $20,000 less than he made at his last job. We thought and prayed and Josh gave them a counter offer...they declined. So now what do we do?