So, many of us ask how can we not think about babies and pregnancy when it is all around? Well, I have found the answer. Have something completely devestating happen in your marriage and your focus will be changed. And no I don't want to talk about it for those of you I know in real life. But this is my outlet and I have to be able to express everything that happens in my life or I might just shrivel up and die.



So Josh and I are having issues but I am happy to say that we are working through it. And much quicker than expected. I have issues with trust and forgiveness. But it amazes me how easily forgiveness is coming. Trust, now that will take a little longer. But I'm happy to say I feel like we are on the right track.



Can I tell you what the oddest thing of all of this is? Even though my heart was shattered into a million pieces and it was because of something stupid he did, I feel at this very moment that I love him more now than I ever have in the last 12 years we have been together. I just have this desire to be with him. I love the sound of his voice and beautiful blue of his eyes. It just really feels so surreal to me. I should be mad and sad and not head over heals for him.



But I guess God works in mysterious ways sometimes. And even though I would never wish this pain and suffering on me or josh. I am happy to say that our marriage is already stronger. The last three years have been such a rollercoaster for us both. But I believe now that we can survive anything.