The author researched different religious views on ART while she was in the decision process. How did you make your decision to pursue ART, adoption, childfree living etc? Did your religious views play a big part in that decision?



My religion definately played a part in my decision to pursure ART. I did seek council from my pastor before starting treatment. As a Christian I belive that life begins at the moment of conception. Luckily, I have not had to walk the road of IVF because it would be much more complicated religiously than IUI is. But just for conversation sake I will tell you my religious decisions about IVF. I do not think that it is wrong at all. I think that God has given humans the ability to creat technology to better the world. If I were to do it I would have to use all embryos at some point. I couldn't just let them die and I couldn't donate them to science. As for donating them to another couple, I really don't know about that. That is something I would have to decide at the time. I don't think that it goes against my religion at all, I just think it might be hard for me to know that I have other children running around somewher.



I had a different experience from the author concerning the type of clinic she went to. She went to a big clinic where she was treated as a number, whereas I went to a smaller clinic where there was a more personal touch. What was your experience? If you went to a big clinic, was it by choice? Did you feel like you still were treated as an individual? Did you have to deal with a Carol-like person? If you went to a smaller clinic, did you feel it was adequately staffed, etc. for your needs? Did you research various facilities (or did you do like me--go with the recommendation of my personal doctor)?



I was appalled at the clinic that Beth went to. Her story makes me thank God that I go to a smaller clinic. I couldn't believe how she was treated like a number and basically did the same protocol as every other women in her batch. I live in a large metropolitan area like Beth does but my clinic experience has been the complete opposite of hers. At my clinic I am a person and everyone is nice and answers all my questions. I think that if there were only clinics like the one Beth went to I would not have pursued ART. This was virgin territory for me and I needed someone to hold my hand and walk me through it. Thankfully there is no Carol-like person. and there is no George-like person either. It kinda sounded like he didn't even know what he was doing.

On page 254—255, Beth writes about…well…us. She writes about bloggers and the way we speak about infertility, embryos, et al. How did you take the description of our community? How did you feel about the way she put the word mother or mommy in quotes?

I had a hard time with these two pages. I found it very interesting how she was talking about women showing pictures of their embryos and having names for them, even though earlier she was wishing she had a picture of all her follicles to show people. If I were to pursue IVF and had pictures of my embryos I would share them with everyone. These women she is talking about are mothers. They have created life and that makes them moms.

Hop along to another stop on this blog tour by visiting the main list at http://stirrup-queens.blogspot.com/. You can also sign up for the next book on this online book club: The Mistress's Daughter by A.M. Homes (with author participation!)

Have any of you ever been to a real life support group? Well, last night josh and i went to one. This was a first in our almost 3 years of IF and recurrent m/c. I have an online forum I am a member of and of course all the wonderful ladies in the blogosphere. But this was the first time I had met people face to face who are where I am.

The group I went to was called MEND. Most of the families suffered from stillbirth, most were full term and most were cord accidents. So that gives me something else to worry about if I ever get to that stage of pg. Anywho, there were a few other women there who had suffered m/c. It was just nice to know I wasn't alone and that I can know people who have been there. They only meet once a month for this meeting. They also have an IF meeting once a month too. But I won't be able to attended that this month, josh has a work thing we have to go to. I liked that the meetings were for moms and dads. Josh was a great support.

On October 6th they are having a Walk to Remember. Has anyone done this before? It's interesting because the book I just read by Ayelet Waldman Love and other impossible pursuits, talked about one of these walks. Apparently it is a common loss thing. It happens all over the country during the month of October. Which happens to be Pregnancy and Infant loss awareness month. I have mixed feelings about the walk. My main problem is when they call out the names of the babies. I haven't named any of mine. Does that make me a bad mother? Josh and I just never gave them cute little nick names, and I don't know the sex of any of them so we didn't give them real names. I would hate for them to call out Moody baby 1-4. So I think that part would be awkward. I do like the idea of them having a memorial table. I can take my two scrapbooks I made and my sono pic from the thrid pg. It will be nice to share those since only josh and one friend have seen them.