Yup, sorry faithful readers, but I am still having my pity party and prolly will for the next 20 days or so. Have you ever felt that if one more thing in your life goes crappy you might just run and hide? Well that's where I am. I really feel like everything is falling apart. My IF and recurrent m/c, plus my recent marriage issues, the future of my employment and my church are unsure.

Things are happening at work and I may not have a job after January. I hate having to find a new job. I have worked here for 5 years, and although it is not my dream job, it is comfortable and I like comfortable. I hate having to meet all the new people and learn all the ends and outs of a new job. You know learning how things run in a new office and who is nice and who is not and all the politics and such. It just sounds exhausting.

As for church. I am not sure what the future holds. I love my church. I have been going there since it started almost 8 years ago. Josh and I had been married 6 months and I knew nobody, since I had just moved here after living in one place for 20 years. Church really is the only thing that has made it some what easy to live so far away from my family. But now it seems like it may be falling apart. Good friends are leaving and that makes me so sad. It is so hard to work in time to spend together as it is with busy lives, it will be so much harder now.

As for cycle news. My dad and I have been playing phone tag. I am ok with that because I am so afraid he will tell me that we can't have the money. But I know I just need to call him and get it over with. Oh in case you were trying to keep count today is cd 58. Woofreakinghoo for me!!!!!

I got the best present today. I know I have mentioned on here before about the prayer meeting the women at my church had for me last June 13th. They gave me the wonderful charm bracelet and prayed for me. Well, today when I got home from work there was a bag on my front porch. I opened it and read the words and cried. Sandy and Gayla had remembered the day and wanted me to know that they were still thinking and praying for me. They both shared this verse Psalm 56:8 You keep track of all my sorrows, you have collected all my tears in your bottle...

And they gave me another charm to add to my bracelet. It is a bottle. I can't wait to get it added to my bracelet. It is so special that they took time to do this for me. Life can really suck at times. But when I really stop and think about it I am so blessed.