Ok to all my readers (don't act surprised that I have so many devoted fans) I must say that I have the best little brother in the whole world. (Dougie, you may not want to read this because I'm probably going to embarass you!!) Ok so here's the scoop. He is 15, a straight A student, plays almost every musical insturment ever invented and is a poet. He is just AWESOME!!!! Everytime I think about him I just smile. Just the thought of how great he is makes me all happy and tingly. Sadly though we do live in different towns and I miss him terribly. He is growing up so fast and soon he will be graduated and off to college. Or he may be on the road touring with his band. Either way it will all happen too soon. But I really can't wait to see what he does with his life and where the Lord will take him. I know that God has great plans for him and I am so excited to see what they are. Thanks Dougie for being the best little brother in the whole world. I can't wait until spring break either, we are gonna have a blast.

Here is the link to his website that has some of his poetry. You are gonna wanna stop by and read it and be amazed!!
http://poetofsilence.deviantart.com/

So today is Sunday the 19th. On Wednesday the 8th I found out that I was pregnant again. I was excited but a little reserved since the last pregnancy ended in miscarriage. Well by Monday I had miscarried again. So this last week has been really hard. The title of the post comes from the Tree 63 song that says "Every blessing you pour out I'll turn back to praise. When the darkness closes in Lord still I will say blessed be your name." This song really helped me the first time and it is helping this time. I have to realize that God is still a good God regardless of what my circumstances are. He will always be there and still loves me regardless of my pain and suffering. He will heal my heart and my suffering will be for His glory. "You give and take away, my heart will choose to say blessed be your name." That is what I choose. I want to praise Him in the middle of my tears. I want to show the world that even though for reasons I cannot know or understand my God is still good. I live in a sinful and fallen world. But my God will always be here. And He will meet me in the midst of my suffering. He cries when I cry and rejoices when I rejoice. Thank you Lord that you gave me this second child if only for a moment. Thank you that my baby is in heaven with you and that one day i will get to see them both.

Well, today in church Greg talked about worship. About being undignified in our worship. Being free to express our love for the Lord. Not worrying about what others think and not trying to live up to some kinda Christian ideal, or go the other direction and being stagnent in our worship. That there is freedom in our church. Which there really is. That is one of the main things I love about my church is that there is freedom to be who we are in Christ. To follow as the spirit leads. So he talked about raising hands, kneeling, dancing, laying on the floor. All things that are mentioned in the Bible concerning worshipping the Lord. King David danced in the streets. And he wasn't concerned with anyone who had the thought that he wasn't acting like a king. He was praising his Lord.

I had some thoughts along this same line last week. When I was at church during worship last week there was a person behind me who was very vocal in their praising of the Lord. Saying things and during one song actually crying. At first I was a little annoyed. It was a distraction and I was trying to worship too. But then I realized how wrong I was. This person truly loved the Lord and was expressing that. And then I asked myself why I couldn't do that? Why was I so stagnent in my love for the Lord? It is a question that I am still trying to answer. Why am I so afraid of what people will think is really the bottom line. Why can't I be unhindered with my God.

So as you read this I want you to ask yourself what Greg asked all of us. First he said that demonstartive worship has nothing to do with your personality. Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. It has to do with the overflow of your heart. So he mentioned that today was superbowl Sunday and he told us to watch how people and ourselves are when watching a football game and think why can we not express our love to the Lord of the universe, the God that saved us from eternal damnation the same way we express when someone makes a touchdown????

Thoughts???