So my friend Donna and my SIL Sarah asked about Josh's scruffiness in the last set of pictures. In all the years I have known Josh he has never had a beard, he has had a goatie and a mustache but never a full beard. He was unsure in his ability to grow a full beard actually, but always had a desire to do so. So since at his new job he never sees anyone important and his bosses don't really care what he looks like while he sits quietly at his desk he thought he would go for it. He started around Christmas time, and actually shaved it off the day after Kai got his haircut. He was happy he tried, but decided he just isn't a beard guy. So for now he is clean shaven, but I'm sure in the near future a goatie and/or mustache will appear!!

"Seriously it has been over 4 years, enough already, and you have a perfect little boy now too." This is the thought that continues to go through my mind whenever I blog, talk, think about my losses.
So to get my brain out of it's rut I will talk about that adorable little boy that I have. He is almost 8 months old now, can you believe it? I can't. He is up to 3 meals a day of solid food. He eats a ton. He is not crawling and doesn't seem to care, but he rolls like a champ and scoots a little too. He can always seem to get to what he wants to go. He is such a happy baby. I went to corner bakery today and 4 people commented on how happy he was. One lady even thanked me saying she needed a good smile. That just melts my heart when my son can bring joy to others.

He weighs almost 20 pounds now, not sure how long he is, I need to measure him. He loves the dog and the cats. If I am trying to feed him and the dog comes in forget about it. He watches to dog with this huge smile on his face. I can't wait for the days that they can play together. They will be great friends.

We have started using his car walker a lot more. Anytime I need to get something done I just put him in it. He loves to move around the house and try to chase the cats.

Here are a few of his 6 month pics

In other Moody news Josh got a job! Now before you all get too excited let me just say it is a "we seriously need some money" job not a "i could do this as a career" job. He is working at the new Kirklands in Mansfield as a stock supervisor. Which basically means he is in charge of the stock room and unloading all the trucks. He started on wednesday and will be working until tuesday when they open. Then he should be working about 25 hours a week. It is hard work and not great money, but hey it's a job.

In house news nothing is going on. We have had one family look at it twice and they told our realtor that we were on their short list. I told Josh it must be nice to have so many options and get to take your sweet time deciding which house you want. I really hope it is still a buyers market when we buy our next house.

I guess that's all. I really hope people still read this blog...

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It looks as though the hubby may finally start blogging. He started the blog in November and hasn't written anything since. But he wrote a fathers day post yesterday!!! So if you want to see his side of our story go read Josh's blog.

So... I really need to start blogging more. It is such a good outlet for me, and right now I seem to just be bottling everything up inside.



There were many times in the last 3+ years where life sucked and I really had to focus on all the good that I had then. I mean in the big scheme of things life was really good. I had a great dh, a house, car, good job, friends, family, pets. I still have all of those things and now I also have the thing I have desired most. Or at least I am close to having it.



The whole car wreck thing is not turning out as we had hoped. It seems the witness was a friend of the other lady and they both said Josh had a red light. Which means our ins has to pay for everything, which in the end means they will take the hail damage money out of the total they pay us for the car. That was the money we were going to use to buy the next car. Also, Josh's cell phone got broken in the wreck and now we get to buy him a new $300 phone.



So once again I am trying to focus on the good. The fact that I am almost 16wks pg. That my husband is fine after that awful wreck. And that I know somehow this will all work out in the end. God always provides, even if it isn't in the way I would have wanted.



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In more happy news, I bought some maternity clothes. I needed to buy a swimsuit because I think I am going to spending a lot of time in the pool considering it is only may and we have already hit the mid 90's. I picked a suit from old na.vy because it was cheap. I'm not going to spend $80-100 on something I will only wear for 3 months. So while I was at ON I also got some shorts and capris!! I have a friend that gave me all of her maternity clothes so I have lots of tops but not many bottoms. I ordered these online, so I'm anxiously awaiting their arrival!!



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I think I forgot to update you all on my last ob appt. Well the dr did a sono and was concerned about fluid level again so she sent me to a specialist because he has a big $250,000 u/s machine. I was a little nervous as I waited at his office. He did the scan and said all was well. Baby measured great and the fluid level was where it should be. So that was wonderful to hear. I see the ob again in 3wks and him and 3wks, which means I will get two anatomy scans!!! So I'm gonna put a poll up on the side of the blog and see what people think as far as gender goes!!



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We had dinner with my dad and his wife this weekend. I hadn't seen him since he came to the hospital the day after my surgery. We had a really nice time. Of course I had presents. His wife always brings me something (usually a purse), she is jus the sweetest thing. Anywho, she did indeed get me another purse. But there was also something else. I unwrapped it to find a box that said Friedma.n's Jewel.ers on it. I opended it and there was the most beautiful diamond cross necklace. I was speechless. Stephanie said my dad had picked it out himself and it was my mother's day present. There are not even words to express how much that means to me. I really think that this baby is going to make our relationship so much better.



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I am looking forward to Memorial day. I always enjoy a 3 day weekend and Josh and I will be celebrating our 9th anniversary (which is the 29th). We have already bought our present because we are such impatient people. We got Rock.band for our X.box and it is so much fun. He plays drums and I play guitar. We started a band and we are on tour!!!! I know we are such nerds! It's good though that we enjoy the same kinds of things and we can play together!! Next game purchase will be the new mar.io kar.t for the W.ii!!!!

So it's been a while hasn't it. I have much to catch you up on.

As for Turkey things seem to still be going well. I have an appt with the ob tomorrow. I am hoping she will listen to the hb with the doppler. We haven't been able to find it with ours, so I want to see where she finds it. I have been drinking tons of water and getting IV's at work with the hope that it will increase my fluid. I have a sono on monday to check out where it is!!

I did figure out that the nausea was because of my prenatals. Since I stopped that brand I have been feeling much better. Stupid vitamins!

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So now for the exciting news. I have a 2005 VW passat that I love. It is just a beautiful car. But seeing as how we have a baby on the way we are trying to cut our bills back so I am able to stay home. So the passat had to go. We had been trying to sell it for about 9 months now. But the problem is we are upside down. Apparently when you buy a car 2 months before the new body style comes out it drops dramatically in value, who knew?? Anywho, our lease is up next may so we figured we would be stuck with it until then.

That was of course before yesterday! Josh went to start his car and the temp light started flashing. It needed coolant, and it also happened to have a flat tire. So he decided to drive my car. About 45 min later he calls me and tells me that a Tahoe ran a red light and hit him on the rear passenger side. That made the car spin around and run into her again and then they both ended up on the other side of the intersection.

He is ok, just banged up a little. But the passat has gone to car heaven. I cried when I saw it. My poor little blue baby. I really did love that car even though I hated the car payment. So, because God works in mysterious ways this is actually a blessing. Josh and I were smart enough that when we bought the car we got this little thing called "gap insurance". Which means they will pay off what we owe on the car rather than what it is worth. Woohoo. So I did lose my beautiful car but now we are out from under it. We owe VW nothing else and that is a great feeling.

Another lucky thing is that we just filed a hail damage claim on it and a suburban that we have. We were not going to get the suburban fixed and now I guess we won't get the passat fixed either. So were are going to use that money to buy me a used car. Hopefully a passat wagon.

I have pics on my cell phone, if I can figure out how to get them off I will post. Otherwise we left some stuff in the car so when we go get that I will take pics with the camera and show you the carnage!!

Today is our dating anniversary. We have been couple in some form of the word since October 29, 1995. I was 17 and he was 18. We were young and in love!! There were times in the 3.5 years before we got married that we weren't sure we were gonna make it, but I always knew in my heart he was on the one I would spend the rest of my life with. So thanks Josh for making the last 12 years of my life so wonderful and fun!!!!

Dan in real life...

I don't know if you have seen the preview for this movie, but it is wonderful and I would suggest it to everyone. The story is so great and it makes you laugh and cry. I think Steve Carrell did a fabulous job. This movie made me want to have kids even more than I already do. I loved all the family traditions that they had. You just have to see it.

Reign over me...

Adam Sandler seriously should win an award for this movie. His performance was so moving. I was truly amazed at how good the whole movie was. I was a little skeptic going in, but I loved it. So if you are in the mood for a really good movie and maybe a side of crying you should really see this

God's grace and mercy amazes me daily. He is so good to me even when I am not really paying much attention to Him. I am going to honestly say that I have had a hard time spending time with him or praying since the m/c in april. That paticular m/c rocked my world more than the other two combined. See we (me, josh and my whole church, mom and family) were praying that I would not get pg again until i was going to carry to term. That prayer had been prayed every day for almost a year. So when I got pg I was 100% sure that pg would stick and I would be bringing home a baby in november. Even when we went for the first sono and things didn't look good, I still believed we would have that baby. So, when we went for the 2nd sono and there was no hb my world fell apart more than it ever had.

I think the first two m/c helped to bring me closer to God, but the thrid one just pushed me away. And then a bfn and a chemical pg just added to it. The more pain I had to go through and the more happiness and blessings I saw in my friends lives just made me not believe anymore. I still believed in God, but didn't really believe that He loved me like he did everyone else. That I was doing something wrong and thus being punished. I have had many great people try and speak truth into my life , but it is hard to listen sometimes.

Last weekend when I felt my marriage and my life were crumbling at my feet I was mad at God again. I couldn't believe that he was going to have me walk through something else. Why the heck did he think I was so strong? He knew that forgiveness was hard for me and that was the one thing I had to do to save my marriage. So last saturday my heart was broken for the millionth time and I didn't know how I was going to recover.

On Sunday our pastor talked about forgivness. Mainly about accepting God's forgiveness of us. It was perfect timing of course because there are no coincidences with God. I realized then that I had to forgive josh. And the fact that he wept at my feet and told me over and over how sorry he was made it that much easier.

I am truly amazed at what God has done in our lives over the past 6 days. There is no anger or bitterness between us. We are so much in love and just want to spend time with each other. I have completely forgiven him for this and other things that I felt the need to harbor for the last 9 years. I am free, we are free and I just want to shout it from the rooftops how wonderful God is. It is nothing short of a miracle how things have worked out. There is no way in my humanness that I could have forgiven him. It was all the grace and mercy of God.

So, many of us ask how can we not think about babies and pregnancy when it is all around? Well, I have found the answer. Have something completely devestating happen in your marriage and your focus will be changed. And no I don't want to talk about it for those of you I know in real life. But this is my outlet and I have to be able to express everything that happens in my life or I might just shrivel up and die.



So Josh and I are having issues but I am happy to say that we are working through it. And much quicker than expected. I have issues with trust and forgiveness. But it amazes me how easily forgiveness is coming. Trust, now that will take a little longer. But I'm happy to say I feel like we are on the right track.



Can I tell you what the oddest thing of all of this is? Even though my heart was shattered into a million pieces and it was because of something stupid he did, I feel at this very moment that I love him more now than I ever have in the last 12 years we have been together. I just have this desire to be with him. I love the sound of his voice and beautiful blue of his eyes. It just really feels so surreal to me. I should be mad and sad and not head over heals for him.



But I guess God works in mysterious ways sometimes. And even though I would never wish this pain and suffering on me or josh. I am happy to say that our marriage is already stronger. The last three years have been such a rollercoaster for us both. But I believe now that we can survive anything.

Welcome to the world Benjamin David!!!!! My friend Donna gave birth on wed to an adorable little boy. I saw him on wednesday and he was so tiny and so cute. I will see him again today and can't wait to hold him!!! Baby and mom are both doing well.


We are having a garage sale tomorrow. Sounds like fun huh!!!! We are trying to raise money to send some kids to youth camp. On wed all the youths came over and we organized everything and we made $70. I think that is a good start. We have so much stuff in our garage. So I think this sale is gonna be good.


So i have over a month before i get to ttc again so i am going to take advantage of it. I am starting a fast/cleanse on sunday. It is called the lemonaide diet. Sounds interesting. One of the nurses did it and said she felt great and she lost some weight. I'm all for that. Also, starting back to the gym on monday. It has been about 8 weeks since i worked out and i really need to get back into the swing of things. And try and lose as much weight as I can.


I am going to Oklahoma city next weekend. My brother has some Tai Kwon Do competition and get to see him kick butt. Also, my aunt and cousins live there so it will be nice to see them. I will be going to Amarillo over memorial day weekend. That will be Josh and I's 8 anniversary. He will be at youth camp on the day so I guess we will celebrate when he gets home. Man i can't believe we have been married almost 8 years. That's crazy.


I have mentioned this blog many times on here and my other blog. Catherine is so strong and inspiring. She just found out she is pregnant again accidently. Please pray for her and baby. She has had two stillborns and is understandably scared and nervous. I really hope that she gets to bring this baby home in December.