So today I am 4wks and 6days, which basically means way early still!!! What I find so odd is that I am having a ton of symptoms already. I didn't even have this many when I went 10.5 weeks. Some of them are very odd so here ya go...

• Reflux. I actually noticed this before I got a positive. It is not constant, thank the Lord but I am having it much more often than before.
• Hungry all the time, but I don't eat very much when I do eat. But then I have to take 2 prenatals, met, aspirin and now extra calcium. So by the time I drink all that water I feel like crap.
• Can I be anymore tired? I know the answer to this is yes. When baby comes and I never get any sleep I will be wishing for these days back. But seriously I am exhausted always. I am completely unproductive and my poor josh has been doing double duty.
• I officially can not brush my teeth. It's not the toothpaste because I have tried different flavors. I think my gag reflex is super sensitive and when I get towards my back teeth it's over. I am fighting through it though. I don't want my teeth falling out or people falling down because of my breath.
• The smell of hot tap water makes me sick! Seriously, I have no idea why but I can't stand the smell and this is making showers very interesting. I can even taste it when I get out. Josh and I have talked about putting a filter on the shower. I am just hoping this won't last the whole pregnancy.

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I had a dream about our first ultrasound. It was actually a good dream. Much more optimistic than I feel like I am in my awake life. In the dream the u/s went well. There was one baby in there. We couldn't get a hb but i said to the dr that was ok because the baby was moving around a lot so I knew it was ok. It was just an odd dream and I am praying that the real u/s goes even better.

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The other day I caught myself saying something I shouldn't have. Josh was talking about telling his co-workers we were pg. And I said "So when we lose this one you will have to tell them that too". I couldn't believe I said it, and josh just kinda starred at me. I think that was my true feelings coming out. Feelings that I fight everyday. My heart wonders why this will be any different. But I try to remind myself over and over that it is different. And that I am doing so much more this time to keep this baby around.

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I have been doing somethings that I know a lot of you would say is foolish. But I don't truly believe that anything I do will jinx this pregnancy. So I have been enjoying myself. Josh and I have already looked and picked out baby furniture. I have already bought a few outfits. And I love walking through the baby departments again. I am going to enjoy this to the fullest. This is what naive pregnant women do so I'm gonna too!!

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Only 4 more days until our first peak at baby(ies). We have only told our parents and closest friends. Once we see the hb we will be telling a few more people. Not a lot. I have only told one person at work, so I will tell the others. Most people that are out on the fringe won't find out until 12wks.