For the last 8 months I wasn't sure how I would spend Thanksgiving. November 23rd was my due date with the baby I lost in April. I really thought that I would just want to stay home in bed and wallow. But I decided to go home and spend it with family. I think it was a great decision. The long weekend was wonderful. We had a great time seeing both sides of the family. I got to spend all day Thanksgiving with my family and help my mom cook. Something I haven't been able to do in a long time. Even though my heart still broke everytime I thought of not being pg and delivering soon. And what I will be missing at Christmas, it was nice to have the distraction of family. Christmas, now that is another hurdle that I will have to get over. But for now I am just trying to focus on this milestone that has been passed. Oh and another thing that helped take my focus off of friday was that af showed and I spent half the day in bed with cramps so bad they made me nauses. What a great way to spend the day huh? So 76 days, not a record for me, but still too freaking long.

Dearest November baby,
I can never express in words how much you mean to me and how broken my heart is that you are not here with me. The day I found out I was pg with you was one of the happiest days of my life. I started dreaming and planning from the beginning. It was a blissful 3 weeks. But sadly you had to leave just like the others did. And you left a hole in my heart that will never be filled. I wait expectantly for the day that we will meet again and I will finally get to hold you. I love you so much.
Love,
Mom