Before I had Kai I was pretty sure we would not have a baby in bed with us.  I didn't really see anything wrong with it.  I just knew I wanted to keep my space.  I also did want to get kicked, and punched and wake up with a kid on top of me!  But I think the biggest reason is I didn't want to deal with transitioning my child to his own bed after sleeping with me for however long.  I've watched super nanny, I know it's not easy.

But of course all that went out the window when Kai was born.  The main reason Kai slept with us is because I was so terribly nervous about him dying.  I wanted him next to me at all times.  It helped that he didn't like to sleep on his back, and I would not let him sleep on his own on his side, so he had to be with us.  There did come the time that he got bigger and Josh and I were annoyed by his constant moving and kicking.  So we took the front off of his crib and moved it right next to the bed.  This worked out great.  He was still close to me but he wasn't in our space.

When we moved in with Josh's parents, into a 10x10 bedroom, we put Kai in his crib, with the front on.  He was only about a foot from me.  This also worked well.  It seems Kai doesn't really need to be in bed with us, he just likes to be close to us.

When we moved into the apartment Josh and I were both excited that he would have his own room.  The plan was to slowly transition him to his room.  We put his crib in his room but put the mattress on the floor next to our bed.  Well it's been a little over a month and Kai is still in our room...and it's my fault.  I'm not sure I am ready to put him in his own room.  I like being able to look at him and make sure he is ok.  To put my hand on his back to make sure he is still breathing (yes I still do this even though he is almost 2, I'm crazy).  I don't know if I can live without the peace of mind I get from him being right next to me.

I do realize that he has to eventually go to his own room.  I know he can't sleep with us when he is 14!!  But he's only 2, I think it is ok for now.  Hopefully I can get my husband to accept it, he's pretty good about going along with all my craziness.

Kai is at such a cute age.  I just love him so much and want to tickle him all day long!!!  He is talking sooo much.  He even made his first sentence the other day..."no eat corndogs"!!!  What kid doesn't like corndogs? 

I seriously cannot believe he is going to be two next month.  Where has the time gone?  Josh and I are talking about what to get him for his birthday.  We are leaning towards a small fish tank with just a few fish.  He loves Nemo and he likes looking at fish at other places.  And since his birthday and Christmas are so close together we can get him a more fun, toy gift for Christmas.

Now for some Maverick news.  He is doing well.  He is home again. He did spend a couple days in the hospital last week for a virus.  He is TUBELESS!!  He has no tubes on his face.  They took his feeding tube out yesterday.  He is eating pretty well.  Meg says all he wants is to be held ALL the time!!  I guess after all he has been through he can be held all he wants!!  He will go on tuesday for and MRI and a repeat bone marrow scan.  They are checking to see what the cancer has done and make sure it hasn't spread anywhere.  The drs are thinking at least two more chemo treatments.  Keep praying.

Did you realize that there have been people boycotting Nestle since the late '70's?  I sure didn't.  I had read something on FB a while back about boycotting Nestle because they were giving misleading information to women in third world countries about formula.  Apparently, many women decided to formula feed instead of breastfeed and thus used contaminated water to make the formula, causing many children to become sick and some to even die.  This is not really an issue of breastfeeding vs. formula feeding...it is more about the ethical practices of a major, global company.

Another reason to boycott Nestle is because they buy their chocolate from suppliers that use child slaves.  This is clearly wrong and Nestle is apparently only concerened with their bottom line.

Their are many other sins that Nestle has committed.  You can go to PhD in Parenting to get all the info you need, including a full list of Nestle products.

This company needs to apparently be remind time after time that what they are doing is wrong.  Please join the cause.  If we all do something small then maybe we can send them a message.  Join the Nestle Boycott.  Or if for some reason you can't then you can join the Week Long Nestle Boycott 10/26-11/1, or the Nestle Halloween Candy Boycott.  Please help and do your part...

My SIL commented that she wanted to know more about what is going on with Kai.  I can understand that he is pretty darn smart and cute and hilarious.  So here is a list of some things Kai does and/or says...enjoy.

• He loves to jump over things.  But he doesn't really "jump".  He squats down and then lifts one leg off the ground.  It is super duper adorable!
• He says the words yes and no.  But if you ask him a question like "do you want mommy to help you?" he will say "mommy" while shaking his head yes or no.
• He sighs a lot, especially at the dog. 
• He loves the movies cars and finding nemo.  And also loves wordworld.
• He loves to push things.  When we go to the store he helps push the basket.  At home he pushes his lawnmower or basket around and around and around.
• He says he wants to use the potty and be a big boy but when I ask him if he wants to sit on the potty he always says no.
• He loves to take baths, but hates it when have to wet his hair.  He cries so much.  I try to tell him to put his head back but he doesn't listen.
• He basically says any word you ask him to say. 
• We have a bee parade everyday.  He has two bees that have strings.  He gets one and Josh gets one and they pull them all around the apartment!!
• He says "me" so cute.  Sometime when I try to do something for him he points to himself and says "me".  But if he wants me to do something he points to me and says "me"!!!
• If Kai and Josh are playing in Kais room whenever I try to go in his room he pushes me out and shuts the door!
• Everytime he gets up from sleeping he drags his blanket out the livingroom with him.
• Whenever he has a phone and I ask him who he is calling he always says "dada".
• He loves strawberries, grapes, oranges, bananas, greenbeans, carrots and freeze dried peas!
• He loves horses and he calls them "neigh neighs"!!

I was gonna add some pics, but blogger is being a pain.  I'll try again later.

Thanks for  the comments on my last post.  I really appreciate it. 

Here is the pic from our candle lighting last night at 7:00 for PAIL...

We also did a balloon release today.  I have to find my camera cord before I can upload them, so coming soon.

An old friend came into to town this weekend and she just happens to do photography, and since it was time for our yearly family photos (beth I miss you!!!) I called her up.  I did just get 6 inches of my hair cut off and I'm regretting it.  So I dont' really like my hair in these pics...just so ya know.

Well it seems as though my blog is readerless.  This was to be expected...I guess.  There are few reasons I can come up with why this has happened.

1. I don't blog nearly as much since I have had kai.
2. I have had a living child so some people prolly stopped reading (it's ok, I did it too)
3. My life is pretty boring most of the time!
4. My life is kinda depressing a lot of the time!

 I assume that one of those reasons is why you are no longer reading my blog.  So really the million dollar question is "why do I blog in the first place"?  I have been thinking about this for a couple days, wanted the find the REAL reason.  Here is a list of things that could be the reason.

1. I need to be validated by someone
2. I need to get my feelings out so I don't hurt someone
3. It is therapuetic for me
4. I hope to help someone else who may be going through what I went through/am going through.
5. I just like to hear myself talk.
6. I really need to be validated by someone!!

The answer is yes to all except #5!!!  All of those are reasons why I come here and do this.  I would say that numbers 3 and 4 are the biggest. 

I would also say that I am working on numbers 1 and 6.  I recently realized I had this desire for people to validate my feelings.  But it usually doesn't happen, and I really shouldn't need it anyways.  I mean not to the degree I feel I need it.  I have really been trying to focus on God and realizing that He is the one who needs to validate me.  If no one ever reads this blog again, I need to be ok with that...it's still a work in progress

So I guess what I am saying is that I will continue to come here when I feel I need too and I will continue to post all the goings on in my life.  I'm sure most of the time it will be pretty boring, but I need to do it and that's really all that matters.  So read if you want and comment if you feel led.  But I'm ok if you don't!!

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Quickie Maverick Update
He is HOME!!!!!  He spent 42 days in the hospital going from stable to critical to stable to healthy enough to go home.  He is still on a feeding tube at night and still has his port in.  His parents have to give him medicine daily.  He has also done another chemo treatment.  He is still fighting for his life, the cancer is not gone.  But he is making so many steps in the right direction!!!!!