I have written on here in the past about vaccines and my decision to not vaccinate my son.  I have found new resources that I wanted to share.  But first I want to say that I don't judge anyone for vaccinating their child.  My hope is that every parent would take the time to research and make the right decision for their family.  What I do judge is when parents just blindly trust their doctors and their government.  There is so much info out there, good and bad, about vaccines, just take the time inform yourself.

There recently was a big vaccine debate on circle of moms on FB.  Reading through the posts I realized that talking about vaccines is like talking about politics and religion.  No one really wants to hear what the other side has to say.  They just want to spout their opinions, factual or not, and then move on with their lives.  It saddens me to read some of the extrememly rude and ignorant comments from both sides.  The root issue is that everyone should focus on is doing what is best for their children.  We all have a right to our opinions.

I found this website ThinkTwice that has a lot of good information.  And the book Raising a Vaccine Free Child by Wendy Lydall.  So now go forth and be informed!!

My life seriously feels like it is spinning out of control at the moment and I really think that blogging more might help with my mental health so here goes.

I spent some of today reading old blog posts...remembering what my life was like pre-kai.  Some of the posts are filled with heartache, anger and saddnesss, but there are others that are filled with so much hope.  I want to find that hope again.  That deep down knowing that everything would work out in the end.  That maybe the road was hard but I could walk through it and be a better person at the end.

I truly feel hopeless in my current situation.  It really just seems that things keep going wrong.  It is going to be so hard to move back into the in-laws house.  A year ago when we moved here I would never have imagined we would still be living there.  I just feel like I have no control over anything.  I am seriously ready for this crappy season to be over.  But as much as I want it to be over I want to have walked it well more.  I want to be able to say that I had hope and that I believed that God was doing something wonderful even if I couldn't see it.  That's what I have to work on.

But while I'm in this valley longing for the mountain tops I will focus on my little miracle.  Kai truly is my reason for waking up everyday and trying to do something productive with my life.  He is my light and my joy.  I am so amazed by him and who he is.  I am thankful everyday I get to spend with him.  I know that walking the road of infertility was so worth because I ended up with such an amazing gift.  I can only hope that the end of this road has something wonderful waiting for me.

Josh and my little borther are currently on their way to Arlington.  Our house is being auctioned off on Aug 3 and they are gonna get the last few things out of the house.  I decided I shouldn't go.  I think it would have been way too emotional for me.  I truly love that house and I hate that it has to end this way.  But such as life, at least we will not keep making a payment on a house we don't live in.
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Our time of housesitting is coming to a quick end.  I am sad to have to move back in with the in-laws.  It is just so nice having our own space.  And this house is great.  There is so much room for kai to run around or ride his bike.  We are currently looking for our own place to live.  We are looking at rent houses, but also at buying another house.  I really don't want to buy another house that we will have to sell some time in the future.  I am just ready to be in the house I am going to raise my children in.  So we are praying that we can find a piece of land that has a house on it.  Then when the finances are right we can build our own house on the land.

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I am all signed up and ready for school.  I will be taking 12 hours and I got a grant to pay for it!! WOOHOO!  I am taking history, economics, speech and accounting.  All of them are internet classes except for speech which is a night class.  I am super excited and extrememly nervous all at the same time.  It has been 12 years since I have been in school.  I'm afraid I have already forgotten everything.  My degree will take 4 years if I take 15-16 hours a semester.  I really don't think I can take that many hours, but I also don't want to be in school for 7 years.  So I'm gonna see how this first semester goes and maybe take more next time. 

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Kai is doing fabulous.  He is getting so big and he is talking like crazy.  Adding at least one word a day if not more.  He knows what most farm animals say and what a lion says.  He knows all the body parts.  It just amazes me how much he comprehends at such a young age.  He is just a smart little cookie!!  I cannot believe that in 4 short months he will be two!!  Where has the time gone?  They really do grow up way too fast.
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Babies, babies all around.  My friend Misty just had a little girl on July 4th.  I can't wait until my next trip to arlington so I can see her.  My bestie Megan will be having "baby boy no name" Aug 1, if not before.  Her dr is going to induce her that day and I get to be there.  I am so excited.  Also, when she goes back to work I get to watch the cutie pie.  I think it is gonna be good for me and kai to have a little baby around the house.  Kai can get used to being a big brother and I can get my baby fix until I get to have another one!!  And then my SIL Sarah is having my neice in November!!!  She is due on the 8th which is a day after Kai was due and is the date of my grandmother's birthday, plus two days before my bday.  I'm secretly hoping she has her on her own day, like the 11th or after, just not the 17th, that's Kai's day!!!!  I am so happy she is having a girl.  I have already bought her some things I need to get in the mail.  Oh and her name is gonna be Copper!!  I think it is terribly adoralbe.